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Wednesday, 7 September 2016

So here's the thing

We all have ugly, every single one of us. The trick is that we don't unleash that ugly on folks. We make the active choice of not doing so. We actively pick kindness. Or at least I try to.

So it was all kinds of horrid when someone who knows me well decided to stick the knife of ugly right where this person knew it would hurt the most. And said person didn't forget the extra twist for a flourish of pain.

It was such a challenge to not let my ugly out. I did let some slip, in a passive aggressive way*. But I didn't unleash it all. Because really what would the point be? How would it help anything bringing on more tears, even if they weren't mine?

Really, I'm just tired of how we can't seem to talk to each other anymore without ugly being there. Why are we so fixated on people being a certain way, so that when they change it makes us uncomfortable, and we call them inauthentic? How when someone is doing their best to grow/change/do better does it read as being inauthentic?

Why are we so obsessed with making ourselves feel better by hurting others? How does it help? I know that when I let my ugly out, I do briefly feel better. But not long after that, I get upset with myself for doing so. I'm supposed to fight my ugly, not let it show, and be there. I'm better than my ugly, I am more than my ugly...we all are.

We are fully capable of finding different things wrong/right, and caring or not caring about a lot. We are not binary's. Caring about how broken the system is does not preclude me from seeing that I have things going well in my life. But it is precisely because I can see the good and bad that I do have that I have the responsibility to speak out, get others to see that just as they have shitty stuff going on in their life, they do also have some good things.

Freaking hell folks, be aware of your privilege. Be aware of the privileges you do and don't have. Think about why you think and act the way you do. And most importantly, don't be a dick!

*Yes, I see that this post is some of my ugly showing in a passive aggressive way.


  1. The way I see it - we can't always be perfect, but.... we can always apologise & ask for forgiveness and - just as important - choose to forgive imperfection when asked.

    1. True. *sigh* This grownup business is hard.


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Me in a nutshell: I game, read, tweet, enjoy good food, have bouts of red pen rage and I'm a coffee snob.

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