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Tuesday, 17 May 2016

On gatekeeping, how I do it to myself and let others get away with doing it to me

I seem to be on a bit of a reflection kick...so I'll just roll with it. Last week Abigail wrote a great post on wondering if she's geek enough [which you totally are lady, btw] Which got me all wondering about my own geekness - spoiler, I am and am not a geek.

And I realised I act as a gatekeeper to myself. Which, is all kinds of strange...to say the least. To further confirm just how much I seem to hold myself back, I won a beanie to be made for me from Cupcake. I started googling away to find a design that would give me a kick to wear. And the more I thought about things, the more I realised that I wouldn't go with something that would make me super excited - like say Cap's shield design - because I just don't want to deal with the questions that come from men when you're a geek who happens to be female.

I don't feel like responding to being asked if I even read the comics, or know anything about the story because, duh I only like it because of the movies and Chris Evans. [Who by the way has done an amazing job in showing just how much of a true hero Steve Rogers is] So, I let people get away with gatekeeping, because sometimes being proudly female and geek is just too hard.

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I still haven't figured out what I'd like. I've wanted a Jayne hate for ages, but Adam Baldwin has near ruined the character for me. And the N7/Mass Effect designs I have seen don't make me giddy.  I have seen an amazing tardis one though. There is also the air bender tattoo to consider. And I haven't yet come across a great rpg themed one - and I'm hoping to one day get the favoured enemy the patriarchy t-shirt. So many options. Any ideas?

  8 comments:

  1. Great post, Cassey. I'm glad mine made you think! I think as women we deal with gatekeeping so frequently that it just becomes 'normal' for us. It's one thing to know how much you love Cap, it's another to have that challenged just because you're female.

    The hat thing is tricky. It may end up being something that you wear at home or in the right company - I know that's how I wear my really geeky stuff. It is easier to wear cool stuff when you know you're going to be around like-minded people instead of 'normal' people. I think a Tardis hat would be awesome :D

    Also, that is my favourite shot of Cap. I think it would make an epic t-shirt actually!

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    Replies
    1. You're so right, it's horrid what we consider 'normal'. I tend to wear things that make me happy, so I don't really consider the crowd. That Cap shot is all kinds of awesome.

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  2. Oh it's true - be it geekness, or artiness or whatever. I think a Cap beanie will be great. BTW I won the Star Wars bracelet. Yeah!

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  3. I'm all for embracing the geek. I don't necessarily read the comics but I have seen and rewatched every superhero movie that's come out over the last uh, 6 years or so. Embrace it and stuff the idiots that have stupid things to say.

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes it's easy to ignore them, other times not so much. True though, got to keep on enjoying what I enjoy :)

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  4. i don't even know what you;re talking about but I will say this - it's in our quirk/ our weirdness that we connect with people so embrace all parts of your personality :)

    From Coach Marcia ;)

    ReplyDelete

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Me in a nutshell: I game, read, tweet, enjoy good food, have bouts of red pen rage and I'm a coffee snob.

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