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Monday, 22 June 2015

On parenting influences

It's no secret that my relationship with my parent, my mother in particular, is strained to put it best. So it shouldn't be a surprise that I don't exactly look that way for ways in which to parent...besides I suppose knowing with the utmost certainty what not to do. As a result I've been pondering who has/does influence the way I parent.

It is important though to point out that I get that Keiden will always be changing and growing, and as a result what I do will always change and grow. Also that no one method works for all, but I can appreciate and use things that I've seen others use with success.

I've found that a lot that I've read or heard from others is such a great starting point to find a way that works for Keiden, and just as importantly a way to build and maintain the relationship we have.

And it's the relationship that my aunt has with my cousins (and I) that has me counting her as one of my biggest influences. Yes, there are things she does that I don't agree with, but the way she loves and always has your side is something I want with Keiden. She doesn't hesitate to let you know if something is off, but I've never felt that what she says comes from a place of love.

The other folks who influence my parenting tend to sit in a group; moms who blog or who I know from twitter. To clarify, not every mom I read or tweet with makes a big impression, but there moments with those who have shared what they do that has me thinking what I would do in such a situation. And often there are posts or tweets or chats via e-mail or SM that just stay with you.

Like this post by Cat, it's a great reminder that we need to teach the behaviour we expect. She often rights about parenting, and makes these points that just stay with me. There's also Cath, she just has all the words, which she uses to write the most beautiful birthday letters to her daughter. And from chats has just this thoughtful way of doing this parenting gig.

And there's all the oh so lovely moms from twitter*. Some with littles as old as K, some with many kids, some with older kids. And what I get from all of them is this love for their littles, acknowledgement that this is the hardest job ever, that they also struggle to make time for all the other parts of them (it's mostly the older moms who have this part down, and they're great at being a reminder that things get easier...and harder and easier again), and just great encouragement and points  from which to go investigate things for myself.

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*I don't want to list everyone, but you could check out who I follow to see who these lovely folks are.

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