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Sunday, 26 October 2014

Breaking-up with a retailer is hard to do

First there was the packing of a leaky packet of meat on top of fresh strawberries - we excused it, new packer who made a mistake. Still tweeted about it, details taken, action and a phone call promised, but nothing happened.

Then there was ripen at home avos that went mouldy in a week. We thought, okay maybe there was something we could have done to not have that happen. But decided it's better to not buy fresh fruit and veg from them any more. Tweeted about it, details taken, action and a phone call promised, and yet again nothing happened.

Then yesterday we bought Kiri blocks on a fantastic special. Only to get home and discover that it was a fantastic special because they were selling three week old stock. Stock that I nearly fed my baby, but fortunately managed to notice the best before date on the box.

Yip, it says: BB 04 10 2014


Tweeted, and got the usual details please we'll look into it. This time I said you have it already, and I don't expect you to do anything because you haven't before.

It might just be me, but how many people check best before dates of things on special, besides milk? We place trust in our retailers, especially the big ones. But it's official Pick n Pay and I have broken up. It really is them, and not me.

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

I really, really hate sucking it up

About a month or so ago Keiden and I had hit a really good spot. Sure he was still waking up once a night, but it easy enough to deal with. Especially because we'd hit a workable routine, some days were still bad, but for the most part we had good days more often than not.

And then, I started to panic that I was overfeeding him/doing something wrong. Which was brought on by chats with other moms. And yes, I know you're not supposed to compare your baby to others. You show me someone who doesn't do this, and I'll show you a liar.

You do compare, just by chatting and keeping up with other parents you are comparing. For the most part it helps you have some sort of base for knowing if what you're doing is a reasonably good thing. But then you have moments where it really sucker punches you.

I got sucker punched hard.

So then I got all panicked about things. I work really well when I have a base set of rules and information to work with. A guide, that allows for me to go off and do my own thing, with the assurance that I have a baseline to return to. So for that reason I felt like I really hit my mommy groove with solids. Which made my worry about overfeeding Keiden this massive thing.

So last week we went to clinic. At which I got told that Keiden should be eating more, but because he's getting milk feeds in between meals he doesn't get hungry. And that that, and the process of teething are probably reasons why he isn't sleeping though. So that plus the paed saying at our six month visit that by nine months he should be down to four feeds I stopped breastfeeding him to sleep at nap time.

It has been a week of awful. The bedtime battles we were having before escalated, and nap time became an hour to an hour and a half fight that ended with him crying himself to sleep in my arms. And this because I was working with a guide.

Mandy has this great post about finding her mommy instinct. I'm not there. It's hard for me to not to have a base set of rules inform about 80% of what I'm doing. So now to add to my suck it up list this this jealousy of how she found her groove.

This is the thing, there is no way out of this dark hole I'm finding myself in other than sucking it up. And I really, really hate sucking it up. But I need to. Because all this fighting with Keiden is really turning each day into a massive struggle just to get through it.

I'm now so jealous of moms who work at an office. Working at home, with baby is just unbelievably hard. I would so love to have the clear delineation between work time, and doing stuff with my kid time.

It all jut boils down to being tired. I'm so tired of being the one with him all the time. Doing everything for him. There are two things I really need;  none of which I'll get. One a day just to sit and do nothing for anyone else. And the second, a good cry. Which requires that day because I get my best cathartic cries from watching the first two seasons of Greys Anatomy.

Now time to suck it up.

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Me in a nutshell: I game, read, tweet, enjoy good food, have bouts of red pen rage and I'm a coffee snob.

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