Friday, December 5, 2014

Five for Friday: Random Thoughts

  • I'm learning lessons about eating from Keiden's adventures with eating. Basically; slow down, take your time and enjoy it. It's only from watching him, that I realised I'd lost the art of savouring my food.
  • We had a reality check on just where all the expendable income went pre-baby. We traded in a lot of games to get Dragon Age: Inquisition. It was scary that we had enough to get the game outright. 
  • Thesis submission season is a major energy drain. I've gotten a lot of last minute requests - by last minute I mean requests 10 days before submission. Somehow the impression exists that editing is quick and easy.
  • I miss wearing dresses. It's currently topping my list of downsides to breastfeeding.
  • I'm trying to find easy, delicious mini breakfast eats - it's my Christmas day eats responsibility - so point me to any you love please.

Friday, November 28, 2014

Five for Friday

  • I've sort-of started a project to print and potentially frame some photos. I call it Project Frame, but I think I might do some photo-books, and faceblocks from PrintWild. I've started with Keiden's first pic out my tummy, and one of Jerall and I on his 21st. The last photos I've printed before this were some from our wedding.
  • I have finally figured out what I'd like my clothing style to be. So it's a slow purge and shop for getting to that point. I'm aiming for not getting too many items of clothing too soon, especially because I'm still lugging around a lot of pregnancy weight.
  • I'm in loathe with my body, and can't quite get things right to fix it.
  • I am trying to be less grumpy about my body by at least dressing everyday. It's incredibly easy to just wear a frumpy t-shirt and shorts/leggings when you don't leave the house. I'm hoping by changing that I'll feel less blegh.
  • A crawling K has me cleaning spots that would only get tackled once a month, all the time now.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Catching up

It's been awhile...again. But I'll at least have managed a post a month. There's not much to say really, which I will take as a good thing.

A big moment for us though is Keiden has started to crawl. He has been doing so since Friday - yay him :). I'd been thinking that he might be one of those don't crawl babies, especially as he seemed content to bum hop everywhere.

No news on the buying a house front. We've put in offers twice now, & lost both times :-/.

I'm working on cutting out sugar again, & fixing my portion sizes. I feel like my eating has gotten out of hand, and I really want to be on top of it when my birthday arrives. Just under two months till 30 o_0.

I have ideas for posts, and am just not getting them out. So I clearly need to work on having a schedule of sorts and sticking to it. I'll see how it goes, as end pf the year fatigue has set in. And I'm only getting a week break - the week between Christmas and New Year.

How are you doing? How do you deal with end of the year fatigue?

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Breaking-up with a retailer is hard to do

First there was the packing of a leaky packet of meat on top of fresh strawberries - we excused it, new packer who made a mistake. Still tweeted about it, details taken, action and a phone call promised, but nothing happened.

Then there was ripen at home avos that went mouldy in a week. We thought, okay maybe there was something we could have done to not have that happen. But decided it's better to not buy fresh fruit and veg from them any more. Tweeted about it, details taken, action and a phone call promised, and yet again nothing happened.

Then yesterday we bought Kiri blocks on a fantastic special. Only to get home and discover that it was a fantastic special because they were selling three week old stock. Stock that I nearly fed my baby, but fortunately managed to notice the best before date on the box.

Yip, it says: BB 04 10 2014

Tweeted, and got the usual details please we'll look into it. This time I said you have it already, and I don't expect you to do anything because you haven't before.

It might just be me, but how many people check best before dates of things on special, besides milk? We place trust in our retailers, especially the big ones. But it's official Pick n Pay and I have broken up. It really is them, and not me.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

I really, really hate sucking it up

About a month or so ago Keiden and I had hit a really good spot. Sure he was still waking up once a night, but it easy enough to deal with. Especially because we'd hit a workable routine, some days were still bad, but for the most part we had good days more often than not.

And then, I started to panic that I was overfeeding him/doing something wrong. Which was brought on by chats with other moms. And yes, I know you're not supposed to compare your baby to others. You show me someone who doesn't do this, and I'll show you a liar.

You do compare, just by chatting and keeping up with other parents you are comparing. For the most part it helps you have some sort of base for knowing if what you're doing is a reasonably good thing. But then you have moments where it really sucker punches you.

I got sucker punched hard.

So then I got all panicked about things. I work really well when I have a base set of rules and information to work with. A guide, that allows for me to go off and do my own thing, with the assurance that I have a baseline to return to. So for that reason I felt like I really hit my mommy groove with solids. Which made my worry about overfeeding Keiden this massive thing.

So last week we went to clinic. At which I got told that Keiden should be eating more, but because he's getting milk feeds in between meals he doesn't get hungry. And that that, and the process of teething are probably reasons why he isn't sleeping though. So that plus the paed saying at our six month visit that by nine months he should be down to four feeds I stopped breastfeeding him to sleep at nap time.

It has been a week of awful. The bedtime battles we were having before escalated, and nap time became an hour to an hour and a half fight that ended with him crying himself to sleep in my arms. And this because I was working with a guide.

Mandy has this great post about finding her mommy instinct. I'm not there. It's hard for me to not to have a base set of rules inform about 80% of what I'm doing. So now to add to my suck it up list this this jealousy of how she found her groove.

This is the thing, there is no way out of this dark hole I'm finding myself in other than sucking it up. And I really, really hate sucking it up. But I need to. Because all this fighting with Keiden is really turning each day into a massive struggle just to get through it.

I'm now so jealous of moms who work at an office. Working at home, with baby is just unbelievably hard. I would so love to have the clear delineation between work time, and doing stuff with my kid time.

It all jut boils down to being tired. I'm so tired of being the one with him all the time. Doing everything for him. There are two things I really need;  none of which I'll get. One a day just to sit and do nothing for anyone else. And the second, a good cry. Which requires that day because I get my best cathartic cries from watching the first two seasons of Greys Anatomy.

Now time to suck it up.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

An update

  • I'm rereading The Bridgerton Series. Sometimes you just need light, fluffy and funny.
  • Keiden is full of beans. He's bum shuffling/hopping to the edge of his foam puzzle play area and then starts pulling it apart.
  • We're looking at buying a place.
  • Solids has gotten a lot easier now that Keiden is eating more, sometimes we even have the same lunch :). Although he had a reaction to we need to figure out a plan. The reaction has made me worry more when introducing him to new foods.
  • It is amazing watching him have new things. So far he tends to like most of what he's had, but his favourites are tuna and cheese. He tries to stuff two sticks of cheese in his mouth at the same time.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Five for Friday

  • It's so disappointing when the ending of a book series just doesn't deliver on all the promise it had in the first book. I've recently finished the Divergent trilogy, and am just utterly disappointed in the ending. Up until the last few chapters I was enjoying it, but then there were signs of 'bad end' appearing. It makes the sleep I gave up to read it seem wasted :'(.
  • Separation anxiety is kicking my ass.
  • Jerall has been on a work trip since Wednesday, and it's just been me with Keiden. It's gone well. He's also leaving on another trip on Sunday for a week, and Keiden and I are just staying home alone. I'm not freaked out by it, unlike the last time. I do however miss the hour of sleep I'd get in the morning when Jerall did baby stuff.
  • My usual birthday angst is hitting earlier than every - I'll be 30 in just over four months. I'm determined to do something to feel at least a little happier with myself.
  • We've had a bad month in terms of eating well. This time though, unlike other times, I'm not going to let it spiral back into crazy. I'm just going to restart.

Friday, August 22, 2014

A day

Being a mom is the hardest job I've ever had. Here is a typical weekday.

  • Wake at 02:00, K is niggly, feed and settle him back to sleep. This can take anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. Also teething has thrown a wrench at us, and now he's waking just before midnight before this :-/
  • Wake at 04:30, more niggly K and settle.
  • Wake at 06:30, breakfast feed for K
  • Wake at 07:00, J's alarm goes off, he takes K for a bit.
  • Get up about 07:30ish, doing morning stuff before J leaves for work. On days where it's been a very bad night, I get to sleep till J leaves. Sure it makes going to the bathroom tricky, but sleep wins.
  • 08:00 and 09:00 make and feed K his solids breakfast. I do sometimes make a batch of his meals that's big enough to freeze a few portions, but because it's important to me to have him try something new every week, I can't always make and freeze ahead. Generally, this time of the morning K is pretty content to play with himself for a few minutes, so I let him. If it's a good day do some laundry.
  • 09:00 and 10:00 bf, change nappy and try to get him to nap. Try to hang laundry - if it' not too windy I put him in his bouncy chair and he stares at the trees.
  • 10:00 and 11:00 if K is napping bonus thing go faster. If he's not it's one handed breakfast making, and play. Playing always involves some form of tummy time - he hates it, but it must be done - and then variations of reading, stacking games, flying games, some dancing around and tickles :). Last attempt at hanging laundry.
  • 11:00 and 12:00 nappy change, play with K and start making his lunch
  • 12:00 and 13:00 feed K his lunch, try to get him to drink some water, entertain him.
  • 13:00 - 14:00 nappy change, bf and attempt at getting him to nap.
  • 14:00 - 15:00 lunch for me. If K is napping more e-mail and work attempts.
  • 15:00 - 16:00 nappy change, more playing. Maybe take a walk if the weather is good or we didn't go earlier. Or if I'm very lucky, he's sleeping and I can have a minute or so to myself to just arb.
  • 16:00 - 17:00 wake him at 16:00 if he's sleeping, get his supper ready, play. Maybe do dishes.
  • 17:00 - 18:00 feed him his supper, do dishes, try to waylay a cranky tired meltdown, bf.
  • 18:00 - 19:00 J gets home. I help with bath stuff, we chat. I sort out bed stuff for K and his night bottle, clean up post bath mess. Start dinner. If J is working late then I do it all.
  • 19:00 - 20:00 make dinner, have a minute to myself. Chat with J. Maybe watch something while having dinner.
  • 20:00 - 21:00 possibly watching another episode of something. If not start work.
  • 21:00 - 23:00 work
  • 23:00 onwards shower and sleep
  • 02:00, it all starts again
While breastfeeding I manage to do some chatting via hangouts/twitter/whatsapp. Also use that time to check twitter, read blogs etc. So the work thing became consistent from the start of this month, but since K was about 3 months or so I have had some form of work or the other - editing and other things.It's only recently that it became set.

Weekends are very different. J is a my hero, he'll let me sleep in for an hour or so, he and K have lot of giggles and raspberry blowing competitions. But we do make a point of being out and about, and are usually out of the house by 10:00. It gets very busy, but it helps me a lot.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Five for Friday

Another pic of Keiden, because...well because ;).

  • Something I read often in mom articles is the not getting to shower, and I don't understand that. Why not shower at night? It's tricky in the morning, so at night is best. And when? Well how about when your baby goes to sleep? Just my two cents.
  • I've realised that just as I have friends who don't know me without Jerall in my life; I'll now have friends who don't know me without Keiden.
  • It's just over five months till I turn 30 o_0.
  • I'm using an affirmation of sort, gah. Is this me becoming hippy-dippy?

Wednesday, August 6, 2014


Just a few pictures taken of him by our unofficial official family photographer - Nielen de Klerk.

Look at those eyelashes.


Cheesy toes ;)