Thursday, July 17, 2014

It all seems to be

This never ending chase. It feels like we're just chasing after the next milestone. Doing what we can to help him achieve the next thing. It's like a never ending cycle of "What comes next?" First there was the smile, then the moving on to slightly longer stretches of sleeping, then rolling and sitting, and laughter, and solids, and and and. And the one thing that is really supposed to be a big help, and normalise things - or at least remind you that you're not alone, and others wonder the same thing you do - isn't helping.

Suddenly those others parents and their babies have you questioning what you're doing, what your baby is achieving. And it's just so hard not to compare, and not to feel judged. And then you realise that it'll never end. There'll always be something...and that it needs to stop. But how do you make it stop? Not talking to others isn't going to help anybody.

Is this just another form of the constant competition that people find themselves in? It seems to me that we're all always in a form of competition. Conversations seem like areas of one-upmanship: it's either my good day is better, or my bad day is worse, or I'm so busy. Or is this just something that only I see, and I only see it because of insecurity pushing me to see how I'm not worthy because I don't do x?

Clearly I'm still grappling with the Brene Brown talk. Which is also peculating in there with a new blog find - renegade mothering; in particular this and this. Is anything I just said making sense to anyone else; or is it just another stranger thought tangent my mind takes?


On shame

It's another by Brene Brown.


We are numb

A friend has been pushing me to watch this TED talk by Brene Brown. I have no words. Watch it.


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

It's all changed

Gaming as I knew has come to an enormous screeching halt. Gone are the days of 4 -6 hour long rpg sessions. Gone are the days of sitting, and hacking and slashing our way through a dungeon. Hours of creating the perfect sim for my schadenfreude moments.

It's all gone. Hopefully just for a little while. But on Sunday it hit me in a big way. I can't do a quick four hour pfs game anymore. Keiden won't be happy to play on his mat or sit on my lap and watch people anymore. When he was younger we managed to pull it off, but now it's just not going to happen.

I'm so afraid that with stopping I'll just not get back to it. But we can still pull off the occasional two hour session for home games - and aps. So there's hope.

There's more hope in that Jerall found a cute game - Divinity - that we can play together for an hour or so at night. And that's the thing, without being able to game together my real fear is that my relationships will change for the worse. Gaming together has been a big part of what Jerall and I do together for fun. It's also what we do predominantly with most of our friends.

I suppose this will be the real test of those friendships. Besides gaming will the shared food, coffee and geeky interests survive?

This part of the parenting gig is hard.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Boot camp is over...for now

The topics have become uninspiring. The one for today is "my parents", and tomorrow's one is a free. I'll be pausing boot camp until a topic grabs me. When one does, I'll do the backlog of topics. I found that the caching-up I did went far smoother than the daily writing. It could be because there's more pressure with doing a batch of posts at a time than just one. Either way writing by route is not for me.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Writers Boot Camp Day 13: Dialogue

I couldn't really think of anything. So I figured go for an image. The web comic I used is a new found favourite.



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If you want to take part in the boot camp just follow @writersbootcmp, a new topic is given every day at 18:00 SA time.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Thoughts on writers boot camp

Right now I'm becoming irritated with the boot camp. One word topics, and topics that have been used in other challenges aren't really helping me to write. But, it is helping me get back into a habit of writing, and posting more often. It has though, become a form of writing by route.

Although is that a fault of the boot camp, or just my own inability to run off with the topic on an interesting or different tangent? Either way as I ponder that, I will finish it. I'm working on finishing more things, rather than starting and just leaving them.

If the posts are irritating you, just remember that they'll end at the end of the month ;).

Writers Boot Camp Day 12: What makes me laugh


  1. Lame jokes - my favourites include: How do you get a baby austronaut to sleep? You rocket. What's brown and sticky?  A brown stick.
  2. Puns - the sillier the better.
  3. Jerall - the teller of lame jokes and maker of puns.
  4. Keiden - him laughing or just doing cute baby stuff.



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If you want to take part in the boot camp just follow @writersbootcmp, a new topic is given every day at 18:00 SA time.

Writers Boot Camp Day 11: One food, one drink for the rest of my life

I could happily eat sushi every day for every meal.


Rooibos tea ftw! I have this mug in blue.


**I'm playing catch-up.

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If you want to take part in the boot camp just follow @writersbootcmp, a new topic is given every day at 18:00 SA time.